Edo State may soon launch its own edition of “Who Wants to Be a Visitor?” starring none other than Senator Monday Okpebholo. The rules are simple: If your name is Peter Obi—and you haven’t begged for an entry visa from Okpebholo—well, don’t say he didn’t warn you. Forget Google Maps, the only navigation tool you’ll need is the governor’s good graces and, apparently, his WhatsApp number for permission slips.
Security Clearance, Because “Sheriff” Said So
Our story begins at a defection rally (the political version of musical chairs), where Okpebholo—flanked by party loyalists and new APC converts—pointed his warning finger straight at Peter Obi:
“There is a new sheriff in town. He cannot come to Edo without telling me because his security will never be guaranteed. Whatever happens to him here, he will take it. I am serious about it,” the governor announced, tragically ruining everyone’s plans for a surprise Peter Obi flash mob in Benin.
So for all you aspiring philanthropists and traveling politicians, always check in with Edo’s “Sheriff” or risk being mistaken for a spaghetti western villain.
Obi’s “No Shishi,” N15 Million, and the Mystical Connection
Just when you thought Edo rally drama couldn’t get richer…The governor reminded us yet again of Obi’s infamous “I no get shishi” catchphrase, before side-eyeing his latest donation:
“The man who says he has no ‘shishi’, came and dropped N15 million. Where did he get it from?”
We haven’t seen this much skepticism about money since your uncle published his “How to Be a Billionaire by Watching Nollywood” self-help book.
Of course, Okpebholo also hinted that after Obi’s “suspicious” visit, unrest broke out and three people died in Benin—making this the closest Nigeria’s gotten to blaming the rainstorm on whoever just finished sweeping outside.
The Constitutional Comedy Hour
The grand prize in Okpebholo’s game show? Watching Nigerians debate—again—whether he can turn Edo into his own exclusive club. Critics, opposition leaders, and assorted thunderous Twitter handles quickly pointed out that:
- The Nigerian Constitution guarantees freedom of movement. Sorry, no special Okpebholo Passport for Peter Obi (or anyone else).
- If security cannot be guaranteed without prior permission, should all travelers to Edo State apply for “Okpe-visa” at the border? (Breaking news: Jollof rice now counts as proof of funds).
As for other Nigerian governors considering similar stunts—warning: this may cause an epidemic of “security clearance” memes nationwide.
How to Win Okpebholo’s Approval: A Handy Table
| Step | Description |
|---|---|
| 1. Call the Governor | Triple-check daylight hours; avoid Mondays. |
| 2. Swear you “have no shishi” | But never make any donations. Ever. |
| 3. Complete the ritual | Bring two witnesses and a mood of humility. |
(Note: Results may vary. Security not guaranteed—terms and conditions apply.)
Final Thoughts: No RSVP, No Entry
In summary, Peter Obi’s next trip to Edo State may depend not on flight schedules, but on whether he’s earned a golden ticket from Okpebholo’s office.
Who knew state visits could be so…exclusive? Stay tuned for the next episode: “Peter Obi and the Mystery of the Missing Shishi”.
